Onwards and Upwards


So the last time you heard from me was quite a while ago and well back then life appeared as though it was on the up. I overcame my final year at uni with a 1st class degree, I had just achieved the biggest success of my life and felt invincible. 

Well life was pretty good for a few months and after a lot of contemplating despite all my struggles at uni I decided to persevere and apply for my post grad. I had a lot of doubt in my mind thinking is this too soon. Depression and anxiety was no longer going to control my life, I had taken control back. 

At first it was difficult my anxiety was through the roof and it didn't help that uni changed our group every day so for a few weeks I was constantly being moved around with strangers. At times I'd sit down and within a few seconds I was out the door on my way home. But before I knew it I made friends and I was content. 

I had some setbacks on the course and with setbacks comes depression. I needed university to support me and so when I asked for support I was shocked to learn the university was no longer going to support me. There's a lot in the media from primary school children experiencing mental health issues to university students feeling let down by their university. 

It was clear university didn't give a monkeys about my health and they even recommended I take time out from the course. Instead of supporting those with mental health issues they wanted us out instead. I knew if I stayed on the course then it wouldn't be long until I was back to my old ways having suicidal thoughts circle my head and being too anxious some days to even leave my bedroom. 

I had no option but to leave the course and drop out of uni. It's angered a lot of people my friends are uni were supported and told me I'm good at what I do and shouldn't give up. But I couldn't risk it. 

So now I'm in a bit of a rut, no university and no job. But I have this positive attitude telling me to turn a negative into a positive. And so with that in mind the plan it to take a gap year and boy do I need it. Now I've got some time on my hands and I'm gonna look into a career which appeals to me more. There's a few things this gap year will help me to achieve like losing weight and learning to drive. 

Onwards and upwards, I'm back guys and this time I'm going nowhere. 

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