The Day My World Stopped


I thought yesterday was a really good day, I got my second tattoo which was important to me and I was even asked to review something for this blog (what an achievement). Yet, a few minutes ago I got a phone call from my girlfriend ending it. This came as a shock in a way, we have been struggling for a while, I can't blame her because I know I am a lot to blame for a lot of things and incredibly difficult to put up with. I can't say hand on heart I tried my best because I didn't. At first I had reservations about us getting together and I had only recently come out of a long term relationship and wasn't ready for another one, but this was different I knew this girl from university and had feelings for her for a long time.

I was fed that classic lie " I will never hurt you". At the beginning things were good but let's be honest every relationship starts off good. We then faced some difficult situations having to leave a house she was sharing, her losing her job and unsure about returning to university. In a way, it's sort of relief, now she can move on and meet her prince charming. I might have mentioned previously that I have this little thing going on in my head known as depression, but I've got to be strong and look to the future.

I had a feeling my life was finally going to take shape, I'm due to graduate and with this girl I expected to get jobs, support one another and move in together. In a few weeks time I will turn 22 with no car, no own home, no job and now no partner. But only I am in control, only I can change these things in my life. The best thing for me right now is to take some time out and focus on my studies, I know as I type this I'm going to feel isolated and lonely. Recently, I've lost 'friends' for talking about my feelings on here and as for other friends I don't like to talk to them about my problems, why would anyone want to listen or care when they have their own lives to focus on. I hope this break up won't result in me staying in bed endlessly in the dark as I have in the past, positivity is the way forward it's all I have right now.

I was just a frog she kissed on her journey to meet her prince!

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